then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
Randomize
