hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Randomize
