Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
He told me they were just razor bumps!
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that Iām good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
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