Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
He? As in you personified your dick?
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
