white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
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