My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
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