I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Randomize
