I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
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