that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
Randomize
