I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
party gras won. party gras always wins.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
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