ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
Redeem this text for a blowjob
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
Randomize
