i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
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