maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
Randomize
