Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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