I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
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