don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
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