She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
Randomize
