covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
Randomize
