Is it normal to miss your booty call?
Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Randomize
