he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
Randomize
