I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
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