great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
he thought i was a dude.
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
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