My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
Randomize
