i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
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