Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
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