Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Randomize
