I don't usually arrange sex via text message
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
I have post one night stand depression
Randomize
