Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
Randomize
