i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
Randomize
