After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
My friends, they love my intelligence
Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
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