Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
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