Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
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