he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
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