ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
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