I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
