I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
Randomize
