Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
