According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
Randomize
