I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
Randomize
