on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
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