it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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