Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
Randomize
