Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
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