i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
So much Jack, so little girl.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
Randomize
