Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
Randomize
