So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
Randomize
