I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
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