If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
