You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
I wish they made helmets for livers.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
