I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
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